The tendency to love and feel loved is a human nature that can never be overlooked. Like other relationships in our lives, romantic relationships play an important role in fulfilling our needs for intimacy, connection, romance, etc.
Hence, having a romantic partner gives us a sense of reassurance and confidence to face life’s challenges because we have someone to count on, laugh with, share our dreams, and trust in times of need.
However, having a partner (girlfriend) who is all engaged in making efforts solely because of her selfish interests can be toxic.
This unacceptable girlfriend behavior makes you feel anxious, confused, uncertain, and unsafe, hence this article was put up to clarify your doubts about defining her actions. Do you want to know more? Here we go!
1. She Is Very Controlling
The fact still remains that in every man’s life, his girlfriend plays a significant role. She is his companion, his lover, and more probably his future wife. However, she is not the one and only person whom he loves.
Before he met her, he once had a life and still does. His friends, family, colleagues, etc make up that other part of him, which is completely healthy. But when his girlfriend becomes insanely possessive about him and treats him like her personal asset, then we could say she’s become controlling.
A controlling girlfriend typically feels that she has the right to know more than she actually does. She doesn’t just want to control your where and when, she also wants to control your who, what, why, and how.
By that I mean, she wants to change and mold you into a person of her own image who does what she wants and believes what she believes. She not only demands your attention constantly but attempts to gradually isolate you from your very own people because she knows that’s the only way she can truly gain full, unquestioned control over you.
She might complain about how often you talk to your sister on the phone, or say she doesn’t like your best friend and does not think you should hang out with him anymore if you want to become a better person.
She might go further to bad mouth you to your own family, or create some kind of drama that will make you (unconsciously) hurt your family. Sometimes she believes she is helping you with her “constructive criticism” or taking over a project because “no one else will do it right”. But that may not be true.
She offers a pretty compelling argument, so the criticism seems masked in logic and reason and therefore can be very convincing. She thinks ordering you around will make her win, little does she know that it isn’t about you but about herself. She is the broken one who feels the need to manipulate.
Deep down, she is terrified of being vulnerable, she’s anxious, insecure, and angry, and believes she can protect herself or project her value by staying in control of every aspect of her life (including you). Forgetting to note that she is hurting herself in the process (killing the relationship).
However, in some cases, controlling behavior can be corrected and mutual respect can take its place, but it’s important to recognize that this does not always happen.
Often, a controlling individual simply cannot be changed, so you need to be willing to stop this unacceptable girlfriend behavior by ending the relationship if it is causing you harm.
2. Unacceptable Girlfriend Behavior: She Is Never Grateful
The power of a heartfelt “Thank you” goes a long way, and I know you know that. Gratitude means thinking about all of your partner’s best traits and remembering why you got into a relationship with them in the first place.
It is something deep, meaningful, and important that can change both the life of the giver and the recipient. However, one of the warning signs of a bad woman is ingratitude.
She’s unthankful, unappreciative and ungrateful. While gratitude has been shown to be a boon for individuals – making happier, healthier, and more successful couples, less is known about how ingratitude works in relationships.
Ungrateful people can’t understand why they should have to be thankful for the good things that come their way or for the thousands of things that you do for them. Instead, they complain about the “one” thing you haven’t done.
They are never satisfied, there’s always something else they are chasing, something else that’s not right, and something else they want more. If she acts like you are there to serve her or treats you like an employee, she’s a bad girlfriend. This unacceptable girlfriend behavior shouldn’t be tolerated.
You need to stop doing things for someone who doesn’t respect all the sacrifices you make for the sake of your relationship and everything you do to make her happy.
Go for someone who makes you feel good about what you do, and that it makes a difference to her life. A girlfriend who makes you feel better about yourself, urging you to go on with new vigor, strengthening your relationship. That’s who you deserve!
3. She Is Filled With Lies
Being open and honest with your partner is a vital ingredient in any relationship. Truth confers the feeling of respect upon a significant other.
It proves to them that the person places significant value on the relationship and is not prepared to jeopardize it by deceiving them. But with lying comes the quickest way to ruin that beautiful relationship.
If your girlfriend lies to you, it means she’s essentially putting her own self-interest before yours. Her unwillingness to make a sacrifice for the greater long-term good of a relationship is an indicator that she doesn’t place a high value on it.
She underplays your experience. She’ll twist stories, change the way they happened, and retell them so convincingly that you’ll believe her nonsense.
She would sometimes get angry and accuse you of being overly sensitive when confronted with proof of her falsehood.
This unacceptable girlfriend behavior makes room for an erosion of your trust because you are so used to hearing her so many lies, that the truth doesn’t seem real. And what is a relationship without trust? You better do something about it.
4. She Doesn’t Listen
One of the best reasons to be in an intimate relationship is that we have someone to tell all of our sweetness and troubles, our dreams and goals, issues, events, etc.
When we make a conscious effort to listen, it shows we are interested in what our partner has to say and we make sense of and understand what they are saying.
In other words, listening skills allow us to understand what someone is talking about; and the meaning behind the words. However, to do this, we must give our undivided attention and put our agenda and needs aside.
But if your girlfriend dictates what you talk about, interrupts you, can’t repeat what you just said, and worse of all; you don’t feel good about yourself after talking with her, then that could be among the signs she is not right for you.
She doesn’t seem to care about what you are saying or what you are going through. All she’s interested in is proving herself and would argue about the issue until you get tired.
If she constantly talks over you or makes her problems seem worse than yours, that is clearly unacceptable girlfriend behavior that you should look into.
5. She Is Unavailable To You
No one’s life is a bed of roses. Sometimes we are faced with uncertainties, but the one who loves you genuinely will hold your hands firmly when your life passes a tumultuous storm (health issue, job change, accident, etc.).
Nevertheless, if your partner seems to back away when these times come, only to resurface when all gets rosy, she’s definitely displaying unacceptable girlfriend behavior.
She wants you to wipe away her tears, put a smile on her face, and give her the support she needs, but leaves you hanging and alone to face yours with so much pressure and anxiety.
And will never ask how she can help you ease the pain, or set check-in times to stay engaged with your goals and daily struggles. This isn’t right, she is only using you.
A girl who won’t be there for you when it really matters is a girl who is not worth your time, money, or effort. So do yourself some good and quit.
6. Bad Girlfriend Behavior: She Never Apologizes
It is human nature to make mistakes because no one is perfect. But the ability to own up and take responsibility for our actions makes us mature which the act of apologizing gives us a platform to display.
Apologizing to your partner doesn’t make you inferior. It is a sign of strength and courage, not all have that. A sincere apology shows that you are not proud of what you did, and would do your best to avoid a repetition of that behavior.
It helps repair relationships by getting people talking again and making them comfortable with each other again. But if your girlfriend makes a mistake and can’t apologize because she can’t admit she actually did something wrong that is a major red flag.
She always finds a way to blame you for any conflict that takes place. She almost never takes time to introspect and reflect on her behavior and as such never realizes the issue is with her.
She feels her ego would be deflected when she apologizes and when that happens, it brings shame. She doesn’t want to look cheap before you. In fact, the feeling that she was defending herself, standing her ground, or not giving in makes her feel good.
However, if you do nothing about this unacceptable girlfriend behavior, it may be disastrous later on. This girl is training you to be a long-term victim of emotional abuse, at least. Or perhaps worse.
When you accept her crap, she’ll do worse things, and so on. This probably means it is time you promote her to the position of “ex-girlfriend” and move on. If she can’t admit her mistakes, then she can’t learn from them.
7. She Is Uncompromising
No two people are the same. We all have differences in our views, beliefs, ideas, and opinions. But merging your perspectives and molding a life together is the great skill of a thriving relationship between two individuals.
A good compromise is not about losing. It is about deciding that the other person has just as much right to be happy with the same result as you do. Hence it helps you both grow together as a team where trust, accountability, consistency, and security are evident in your relationship.
But in an unhealthy relationship, compromise feels a lot like a subtraction, like you are the only one giving up things and getting nothing or not much back. Hence, the lack of balance breeds anger and resentment.
In such relationships, your girlfriend only looks after her own needs and is interested in her own life and ways.
She’ll never make one step towards meeting you halfway (even if her life depended on it), hence she threatens to leave you every time you don’t agree with her version of things or tries to blackmail you as though you don’t love her enough to just let her have her way just this one time (actually every time).
This unacceptable girlfriend behavior has a way of neglecting your feelings and needs, you should never allow that. You are important too, you know. Talk to her about it and if she persists, gather your things and hit the road.
8. She Compares You Unfavourably With Her Ex
People want to be accepted and loved in a relationship. They want to know that your relationship with them tops all others that you might have experienced in your past.
However, one of the lowest blows or the most irritable thing that a boyfriend can hear is his girlfriend’s rant about her ex. Getting caught up in comparisons blinds her to the good things about the relationship.
She ends up ruminating over the things her relationship lacks, which can lead to sadness and resentment towards you. You might notice her getting rude and frustrated with you – over seemingly every little thing, to the point where it is affecting your relationship.
This makes you feel you can’t do anything right. Telling you she wished you were more like someone from her past isn’t healthy, as this may be a sign that she isn’t over him just yet. Take this as a sign that she has unresolved feelings for her ex and get out.
9. Dismissive Girlfriend Behavior: She Holds Grudges
People make mistakes. Despite your best efforts, it’s impossible not to hurt or disappoint your loved one at some point in your life. But in healthy relationships, these flaws create room for a stronger bond between couples, because they find a way to talk about it, forgive each other, and let it pass.
But with a spouse who holds grudges, your relationship can slowly be weakened. When your girlfriend holds a grudge against you, she is living with a feeling of anger almost constantly, recalling past events and the negative emotions associated with it.
These long-held grudges can lead to deep-seated resentment, which in turn infuses toxicity into the relationship. She may say nothing in the moment but she is more likely to wait for an ideal opportunity to make you look bad or revenge in some way (even when you’ve apologized, repeatedly, for your wrongdoing).
In other words, she never forgives. If she won’t communicate, then all you can do is leave.
10. She Is Too Demanding
Giving and receiving are important for both people in the relationship. In fact, there is no love without giving. However, nobody likes to be in a relationship where only one person is making all the effort, while the other one is least bothered. This is how some people are.
Some girls demand too much from their relationship because they are requiring that their relationship fulfill needs that they are not capable of achieving.
They are constantly demanding that you pay their bills, pay for fancy dinners, buy this and that, and for their friends also, and won’t give you the time of day if you aren’t loaded.
They are never considerate, and never bothered about your goals, ongoing projects, etc. All they want is money, money, and more money – always taking and never giving. And this isn’t healthy.
Conclusion On Unacceptable Girlfriend Behaviors You Should Never Tolerate
Thanks for the read! However, regardless of why you read this – whether you are somebody’s boyfriend who is confirming how shitty your girlfriend is, somebody’s girlfriend who is paranoid and sometimes asks yourself “Why is my boyfriend so mean to me lately”, or someone who is nobody’s girlfriend at the moment but would like to learn how not to show signs that you are a bad girlfriend, it is important to note that love entails an expression of care, consideration, and support towards each other, and if it’s one-sided, then it’s unbalanced.
As a boyfriend, if you are bothered about any dismissive behavior in relationships, have a good talk. You need to make it very clear what you are willing to tolerate.
Explain to her in as much detail as possible what kind of behavior needs to be corrected, and if she persists, don’t be afraid to lose her. You can and will find someone better.
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