Which do you want to know, ‘how to fix a broken relationship with your boyfriend’ or ‘how to fix a broken relationship with your girlfriend’?
Well, whichever you search for, the result is ultimately the same but before we get there, let us understand what a relationship is.
A relationship is one of the most amazing things a human can be part of; imagine forgetting everything both family and friends and love ones to say I want to build a future with one person.
It is simply amazing, marking someone and saying they will be the one for you, today and every other day that follows.
It is simply amazing but at this same time, the key ingredient in all of this makes it a good thing as well as a bad thing at the same glance.
Love is amazing if not the most amazing feeling out there and the feeling of someone loving you is just priceless but at the same time, the fact that love is a feeling is a problem.
Just like every other feeling love fades too, there is always the possibility that you would wake up and not feel love again.
This might be caused by so many factors, one of which could be for no reason at all but most times there is a reason. I think when it happens for no reason then it is harder to get it back but when you caused it – it is easier.
Regardless of the situation, when you know the problem, it is easier to get a solution – this statement is so true that finding the problem has become the first step when you are looking for a solution.
So, the big question which becomes how to fix a broken relationship is actually how to fix a relationship you ruined but nobody is keeping tabs on what your search says and the honesty in it, they are all going to give the same result.
You can ruin your relationship by doing a lot of things; inability to effectively communicate with your partner, infidelity, anger issues, etc. – there are different reasons but that doesn’t matter, what we are looking for is a solution.
We did a survey and looked for couples who were either divorced and remarried or those who nearly got divorced but worked it out and they all had amazing stories to tell but there was this one that caught me off guard and still does in fact.
She and her husband had two children and were married for about 10 years before they decided to go their separate ways and the reason for this was because he slept with her friend.
They stayed divorced with shared custody of the children and even after three months of being separated, he never relented on getting his wife back.
If I didn’t know the story so well, I would think he once searched ‘how to rebuild a broken relationship’ or ‘how to fix a broken relationship’.
He kept trying to get to her and when he couldn’t he left notes in the bag of his daughter explaining what happens and ended with an ‘I am sorry’ text.
It took him four episodes to completely narrate the story and also for her to fully understand that this was partly her fault.
They met over coffee and talked it out after she did her investigations and found out why what had happened, happened. They are back together and expecting another child today.
The reason this story is amazing to us is the fact that he didn’t give up, and when he couldn’t get to his wife he showed two things – he was creative and he knew what she liked and didn’t like.
He knew his wife will always check her daughter’s book to see if she had an undone assignment, so the notes were kept on the page of the assignment, where he knew she would find it.
HOW TO FIX A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP: 10 EXPERT TIPS
Fixing it takes steps and from our survey, we have gathered all their stories into 10 steps on how to fix a broken relationship, they are;
1. Find The Problem And Solve It
This does half of the work for you when you are looking for how to fix a broken relationship. You have to know what exactly the reason for the distance and separation is, this is how you get a solution to it.
People say, you have to know what the problem is before you attempt to solve it; it is the first step in solving a problem. Knowing why something happened, helps to prevent it from happening again in the future.
Sometimes there is an underlying reason why you partner cheated on you and the truth is as long as it is not found, you would continue to have these issue repeating itself, every time.
From our survey, we had a couple, who almost got divorced because of infidelity from the husband’s side. The wife had a friend who luckily for her was experienced in keeping a man and she was advised to go talk to her man, to find out what really, he wants from her and the relationship.
That was when she found out that intercourse was boring and he had so many fantasies that were not being actualized.
He was a sucker for blowjobs and oral intercourse but that was not happening in his home and she changed to save her marriage.
It was not a problem for her, she enjoyed doing those things but she never knew her husband wanted them, this brings us to our next point.
2. Talk More
You have to talk; first of all, you don’t know everything about your partner, so how do you make things work by assuming.
The same story can repeat itself, here again, the problem they found out was how boring the bedroom was but most importantly that becomes a problem because there was lack of communication in their home and once this is the issue in your home then we are scared to say but that marriage might just be heading to its end.
For so many reasons, it is important to communicate and talk about everything with your partner but if there is one thing that is more important than communication, it is being transparent and honest along the way.
Remember what you are looking for is how to rekindle a broken relationship, this means something went wrong and for that to settle there is going to be a conversation about what happened.
When you are going about this, we always advise you to be super honest about the problem and what caused it.
Sometimes our partners have a big role to play in the mistakes we make while in a relationship; you might have not needed much at that time, just someone to listen, and your partner was not there, so the listener took advantage of the situation.
So, if you are looking for how to fix a broken relationship, talk more; communicate and listen. Here are 7 Easy Ways To Improve Communication Skill In Marriage.
3. Find Time To Heal
I know that it might seem like distance is not the best option but the problem is too much of everything is not that good.
So, when they are always around you, what you would be trying to do is apologize and too much of ‘I am sorry’ would only keep reminding them of what you have done and this is not the best way if you want them to forget about the pain you caused them.
Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what you say, a decision has to come from within because people do what they want to do at the end of the day.
This is why you need to give them some space and time to heal after you have told them how sorry you are for what has happened.
Also, the alone time will allow them to do the things they love to do without you and if you can assist in making that even better then do it.
If she loves shopping, then get a ticket and allow her to shop abroad for days. If his weakness is a football match, your apology shouldn’t meet him on the couch when the next game comes along.
Get him tickets to go see the big game without you at the stadium with his boys. When this happens even their friends will have no option but to give advice that is in line with what you want.
So, when you are looking for how to fix a relationship in trouble, we suggest you give them so space to heal and do what they love.
4. Stay Together
You must stay apart and give them time to heal but by all means, it is even more important that you stay together.
You just probably betrayed your commitment and the trust they have for you – there has been a conversation about why and you have talked about what the solution would be but you are still searching for how to fix a broken relationship.
This is because you are smart, you know that these steps will not be enough to bring this back to where they were.
When it comes to relationships and how to forget issues, we see things like a glass of water with a little bit of coke in it.
When the coke is in the glass, it stops tasting like water and it doesn’t have the clarity of a normal glass of water.
The problem is the coke and it has been solved that is why it is no longer being poured into the glass but how then do we completely remove the color and taste from the cup.
The best way to go about this is to pour water into the cup, you keep pouring water even when the cup is overflowing.
When you do this, with time all the coke will flow out of the cup leaving you with just water in taste and color. This is how to rebuild a broken relationship; you make memories until the sad ones you caused are all gone in the mind of your partner.
5. Forgive And Then Forget
Regardless of what side of the fence you are on, it is very important that you forgive and forget because until this is done, the relationship will not be back to what it was.
First, if you are the person a cheater or broke the trust of the relationship, you must forgive yourself for acting the way you did because you would need to do that, to move on with your partner when they forgive you.
Accepting the responsibility for your actions is one of the first steps on this journey, knowing that you made a mistake in the first place regardless of the reason behind your actions. The fact that you ignored the option of communication and dialogue is enough to turn this situation on you.
Also, if you are the one that was hurt, the message is more for you than it is for them; once the apology is sincere, we plead that you forgive them for their actions and while you are at it, forget the actions in the first place – this is how to fix a broken relationship.
6. Work On Your Minds
Being positive is the most important thing to do when you find yourself in such a situation – if you are looking for how to fix a broken relationship, you just have to work on your mind.
This is because the mind will always be in control of our body and the effort, we put into getting our relationship to work again.
So, putting in the effort is important as long as you want things to work between you and your partner but what is most important is believing that the effort you have put in will work.
Also, if the relationship must work, your partner has to want it to, so while working on your mind, you need to do some work on theirs too.
7. What Happens Going Forward
Fine, they have forgiven you or you have forgiven them, does it end there? This is a lifetime together, so steps have to be taken to make sure things like this are not repeated in the future.
This may include some sacrifices and compromises – for example, you cheated with you’re a very close friend and now your wife wants that close friend gone. It won’t be up for debate, you just have to cut all ties with the person, these are sacrifices that have to be made for the greater good of your relationship.
Also, there is a need for expectations to be drastically reduced in our home, you don’t expect the wife or husband you had before the troubles to be the same you get immediately afterward, good things take time and you have to be patient with them.
8. Seek Help From Professionals
When people ask us how to fix a broken relationship, our first response is usually for them to go seek professional help.
Go with your partner and see a marriage counselor to help you work out the issues you are having. They would help you get to the root cause of the problem and also offer potential solutions to the issue.
No one needs to know about your problems or try to solve them except the both of you or a professional. Don’t seek relationship advice from friends because more than half of the time, they do not know what to say but they have to say something and that ends up as advice you shouldn’t have taken in the first place.
9. Physical Intimacy
If you are searching for how to fix a broken relationship, there is a popular quote that says ‘head is not an apology but please by all means go slow, I am listening’.
We would have to start by saying intercourse is not an apology just like the quote says. If there are two things you need to know, one is that intercourse is not the only part of physical intimacy worth holding on to and no matter how good you are in bed, intercourse alone will not be enough to save your marriage and your union.
However, spicing up the bedroom is going to be important when you are trying to get your relationship back. Also, being together, cuddling, and doing some PDA when you are both out will help your relationship
10. Build Trust From Scratch
The deed has already been done and there are no two ways about it, trust is gone and for the relationship to work, trust has to be gotten back and this is the number one priority after your apology has been accepted and you have decided with your partner to move on with the relationship.
If you are looking for how to fix a broken relationship, this is the best way to go about it, and here are 10 Simple Steps To Rebuild Trust In A Broken Relationship.
‘How to fix a broken relationship’, is a question that has been asked a million times and would still be asked. You never stopped loving your partner, a mistake was just made and all you need is to find a solution to that problem.
Above we have listed 10 of them for you and following them accordingly would give you a relationship better than it was before the issues came up.
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