The red flags signs you are dating a loser can show all they want but if you are not watchful, spotting a loser is the hardest task known to man.
They are cunning, deceiving, and will do anything for their pound of flesh. Now that we have your eyes wide open and your senses all rallied up, I think it is time for us to meet the flags.
Or probably not – I think I should tell you a story, I used to date losers and you deserve to know why I saw so. Meaning is subjective, I must say this before I move an inch further.
A loser to me is a man who walks into the life of a woman knowing fully well that there is no future or happily ever after in the story – he comes intending to use her.
The truth is there will be some that have good plans for you – those that will come to love you but along the line, life makes it impossible to happen.
I do not think this set of men can be called losers but those who just want bits and pieces of you, those who think you are a candy that can be unwrapped, eaten, and the wrap thrown away. These men are the losers and here are some of the signs you are dating a loser;
1. Signs You Are Dating A Loser: Everybody Knows
There is a song with this title, it was made by John Legend – happens to be one of my all-time favorites. Whatever it is (love, lust, infatuation), it always comes with a blinding effect.
It makes us turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to what is staring at us. Friends sometimes try to break your relationship because of selfish desires but I don’t think it is a selfish desire when all your friends keep telling you that he is a cheat and doesn’t deserve you.
It even gets worse for him, if your family is in on it – your family members are the last people to support you when the relationship isn’t heading somewhere good, I will advise you to listen to them from time to time when their voice becomes persistent.
How can he parade himself as your man when your friends and family see him looking kinky on different dating websites all over the internet? One of the biggest signs you are dating a loser is how a majority of your family and friends see your union.
2. M-S cycle
His exhibiting the M-S cycle is one of the most glaring red flags he’s a loser. The M-S cycle stands for the mean sweet cycle – a loser is never consistent.
I used to date men like that – one morning he’s all over his girlfriend at that time and the next minute he wants to talk to every other person except her. My ex was caught multiple times flirting with other girls.
Take a close look at your relationship with him today and compare it with the way things were yesterday; is it moving from mean to sweet and then back uncontrollably. If yes then you have stumbled upon one of the signs you are dating a loser.
3. Always Your Fault
When you are dating a loser; he cannot take responsibility. Even the bible says that a man who fathers children he cannot take care of has sinned, so he has to step up his game if he claims to be your man.
Now, I have always supported gender equality and I know it is not a bad thing if the woman foots the bills from time to time but one of the signs you are dating a loser is when he always wants you to do it since you did it once.
Asides from the fact that he never takes responsibility for the things he is supposed to take responsibility for – another way to know he is a loser; is how he treats issues with you.
It doesn’t matter to him what happens, it will always be your fault. My exes used to do this a lot; if he was late for the date then it had to be because I set the time too early not minding what his schedule would look like.
If we didn’t talk for some days it had to be because I was proud and selfish – it had to be me who refused to check up on him. This is one of the signs of a loser in life.
4. Signs You Are Dating A Loser: He Hurts You On Purpose
This is one of the signs you are dating a loser that is hard to believe although it is true. Who wakes up in the morning and decides today I plan to hurt another human being?
Well, the answer is your man; he thinks the whole plan through over and over again; he also makes adjustments to make it even better.
Sometimes his reason is to make sure you are deeper in this love thing than he is (he doesn’t know what love means) or he just wants to spice up the relationship (according to him, it is healthy to quarrel once in a while).
He becomes abusive, verbally and physically in a bid to keep you loyal and have respect for him like loyalty and respect were things that could be forced.
5. Hot Temper
I don’t even think about this too much, I think you shouldn’t too – there is no reason why you should be dating someone like this.
A hot temper is one of the biggest signs you are dating a loser because this one-character trait can lead to so many possibilities and none of which can be tagged pleasant.
Think about it with me for a second would you, what if he rages one day while having to discipline your child and beats the child to death or even worse what if one day he gets angry with you and in the process does something to disfigure you permanently or even take your life?
What would your excuse for dying be, love – I know it is a beautiful thing to die for love but then I do not think this is the way the author of that quote thought of love when he made it.
6. Signs Of A Loser In Life: He Has No Future
The most glaring of the signs of a freeloading boyfriend is how he treats himself and his future. Men were created handsome and also blessed with words to make even Medusa’s curse cease but this should not be enough for you.
What are his plans for tomorrow – first for himself and then for the both of you? If he doesn’t know where he is going, do you think he has an idea which routes lead to happily ever after for the both of you?
Most times, he is blinded with the illusion that life is short and you only live once – so, you realize all he is good for is parties and the present.
If your man is a party animal who doesn’t talk about his future or your future together then it may be one of the signs you are dating a loser.
7. Public Embarrassment
I think it is getting worse as the list goes down. For these, we can’t just stop at not dating them – I think the best way to keep the world safe is to get them arrested.
You know those who will do anything and everything to be the man in the relationship even when they are not taking responsibility.
Just imagine if your relationship was like that of the movie ACRIMONY but he keeps trying to make you feel bad just to be seen as a man.
He becomes abusive and does things to hurt you in public, so the world sees him as the alpha. Scratch that, even if he foots the bills, any man who disgraces you in public doesn’t deserve to be called a husband for any reason whatsoever.
8. Signs Of A Freeloading Boyfriend: You Are Never Enough
It is a huge sign when he always wants more even when you go out of your way to please him. I know and understand that humans have endless wants but this is in no way a yardstick for him to be always demanding without showing an atom of appreciation.
It always does this or does that, give me this and give me that – never for once has he said thank you or you have been doing this for too long, let me do it this time.
When you are never enough for him then I think it is time for you to move on and hope to find someone who will appreciate the little things you do.
Trust and communication have been and will always be the pillars on which every strong relationship is built – jealousy is a spice that assures your partner of love but there should be a limit to the level showed.
Being protective is a good thing but when over is added as a prefix, it becomes bad. So, I want you to do some self-evaluation, in your relationship.
Is he possessive and always in your space, is there a lack of trust in your union? If yes, I am sorry to say but you may be dating a loser and that union may not be one that lasts long.
10. Turns You Into Someone Else
Love; just love not despite or because – this is what I call true love. He can’t claim to want you for the rest of his life and still want you to become someone else.
The union can’t stand the test of time because acting has never been something permanent (Daniel Radcliff couldn’t be Harry Potter forever, he had to be a normal human in the movie HORNS); one day you will get tired and once you become you, it becomes a problem.
Little by little he makes you feel bad about yourself, killing your self-confidence in other for you to fall prey to his tricks. Painting the phrase change is constant on your face.
11. Signs You Are Dating A Loser: His Reputation Follows Him
A loser will always be a loser – his past has a lot to say. Ask questions like why his last relationship ended? What opinion do those who knew him before you have to give about him – there is something about our past that shapes our future.
I know change is constant but it doesn’t happen overnight or by magic – if he has been a loser, he will continue to be one.
Another valid question you should ask yourself, “does his actions bring you break-up panics?”. When you have issues and quarrels, does it always feel like it will be the last time you spend together? If so then it is one of the signs you are dating a loser.
12. The Waitress Test
This is one proven way to know if you are in a relationship with a loser. The waitress test shows you how a person treats people who are of little or no importance to him.
It is believed that it is a mirror of how you will be treated once their use for you expires. The easiest way is to watch how they treat those of lower social status than him; waitresses and waiters at restaurants, butlers and helps in his home, the homeless on the street, etc.
If the treatment is not so good, that is a mirror of how you will be treated when the love fades and if you can’t handle that, I suggest you find yourself a better place.
There are many ways to identify a loser; these are just a few of them but when one is found the best thing to do is to run far away, run like your life depends on it because at the end of the day, it might as well be the case.
I will be hoping to hear from you in the comment section, so we can talk about this on a more personal level.
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My sister is dating a loser tough!!….
She is soo much into the guy that..she doesn’t want hear any other person … just whtevr he does is always right… nd parents and elders are always at fault!!…. just need to hlp her out of tht shitty bond!!
Love they say is blind; well I must certainly say it’s blind especially when we’re in the wrong relationship at the right time.
All you can do is advice her to make her see reason with you BUT DON’T PUSH HER. If you push your opinion through, you’ll push her away.
Be supportive of her and her decisions even if you don’t like it except when it’s necessary to take action.
And lastly be honest whenever she asks for advice eventually. Don’t sugar coat facts, tell it as it is. She’ll eventually see reasons with you.
I think I’m with a loser
If you’ve determined that you’re with a loser and have come to the self-realisation that you deserve better, then I’d say “Don’t Settle For The Bare Minimum!” I hope our other articles can help you with the resources you might need.